The Pullbox

SMALLVILLE
Season 8, Episode 10
“BRIDE”

Written by: Al Septien
Directed by: Jeannot Szwarc

As far as Mid-Season finales go, “Bride” was pretty incredible. The visual effects were top-notch. The actual on-screen appearance of DOOMSDAY had been long awaited and it didn’t disappoint. The combination of practical costuming, make-up, and visual effects was seamless and impressive. The story was written wonderfully and the direction was never boring. At no point did you feel the episode slowed down. You were hooked from the beginning. There was action, suspense, comedy and heart felt emotion. And the feeling of impending “doom” was some of the best seen on this show in a long time.

With the return of SMALLVILLE coming this Thursday with the much anticipated episode “LEGION,” it is now time to recap “BRIDE,” remind eveyone what’s happened, and get geared up for what’s coming up next.

After the jump, enjoy my recap/full review, but mind the spoiler warning.

- SPOILER ALERT -

The episode kicks off with a CLOVERFIELD style montage of hand-held camera work. The camera guy is interviewing Clark and Lois before the wedding. True to formula, Clark is sappy and eloquent, while Lois shoves her foot in her mouth in an amusing way. I have to admit, Lois has grown on me so much this season. Not that I disliked her character, but she definitely wasn’t one of my favorites. She sure is now though.

As the montage continues, we get random shots through the wedding, including the “you may now kiss the bride…” and everything seems great and lovely until mayhem and destruction breaks out. The final shot is one of Chloe crying over Jimmy’s body and screaming as DOOMSDAY swoops in and carries her away.

When we return from the credits/commercial break, we’re back to before the wedding. Lois is the wedding planner, getting the barn ready for the big bash and its so fitting. She’s given everyone fairy tale nicknames. She’s Mother Goose, Chloe’s Goldie Locks, Jimmy’s Baby Bear, etc. One of the best conversations in the episode stems from this scene as Jimmy points out the Lois and Clark should be each others’ dates for the ceremony. The look on Lois’ face the whole time is priceless. I’m not one for the shippers on the show, but I’m loving this Lois and Clark stuff.

Is it me, or does Chloe get hotter and hotter each episode? The garter belt scene? Lets just cruise right past that before I give myself a heart attack. Davis’ call and Chloe’s reaction brings the scene back down to Smallville, reminding everyone that the blushing bride is actually harboring feelings for another man. Her use of the term “D-Day” as a joke to  Jimmy is no coincidence. Bloom’s going to be at the wedding but not the way Chloe’s used to.

Enter Oliver. He’s found Lex’s trail and wants Clark’s help in tracking him down. He needs a speedster who can go in and find a hard-drive before its removed from its location. Why can’t Ollie call Bart to do this? He’s faster than Clark and he’s not busy with a wedding? I don’t know. I had a minor issue with this but if he had called Bart, there wouldn’t have been any tension with Clark so I guess I can see where the writers are coming from. Of course, Clark is too busy with the wedding to help and the two have a bit of a squabble over it.

Clark obliges and gets Ollie the router but refuses to give it to him until after the wedding. Ollie’s mystery accomplice from behind the curtain says he downloaded it through wifi. I’m pretty sure it would’ve taken more time than that, but hey, what do I know. I’m not a billionaire. Maybe my wifi is too slow.

Chloe’s “something borrowed” is provided by Clark in the form of a flower Chloe gave him at homecoming, freshman year. More important, however, is our little reminder that Chloe no longer knows Clark’s secret. This was made perfectly clear by her breaking out the meteor rock in front of him.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the globe… maybe, I’m not really sure, The Green Arrow confronts a bald mannequin and wins. I considered the slow-motion arrow shot to be a waste of a visual effect. We’ve seen him shoot arrows before. Not all of them have to be in “slow-mo.” But judging how the rest of the episode turned out, I can’t say anything else suffered any loss so it all worked out. I love the way the writers are incorporating Lex into the season without Rossenbaum having to actually show up for any episodes. Speaking of showing up, guess who karate kicks Ollie in the head. LANA LANG!

Lana and Ollie catch up. Lana, of course, is full of mystery. I’d like to say though that I hate it when characters on the show, including Clark, refer to it as his “secret.” It just sounds so childish and silly. “I know something you don’t know, nanner nanner!” But there’s not much else the writers can use to refer to Clark origins, powers, and identity.

Lois helps Clark put on his cuff links. Yes its a show on CW and there’s plenty of kids that watch it so they can’t do anything too raunchy, but the sexual innuendo on this show is reaching new highs. “You just have to make sure this part sticks straight up, and then it slides right in…” Forgive me for being predictable but “THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!” I’m not complaining. Moments and lines like that crack me up.

Now we’ve caught up to the moment where the episode started. Clark and Lois are on camera doing their thing. We cut to across town where Davis Bloom is cleaning blood off of his ambulance after “Dooming Out” and killing somebody. Then, as a security guard shows up and questions him, Bloom dooms out on camera. Bony knuckles, red eyes, and all. The effects were pretty impressive.

Back at the reception, Lois and Clark are dancing it up all romantic and what-not. They both lean in for a kiss… the Clark and Lois fans out  there are screaming at their televisions, ready for the moment they’ve all been waiting for… when all of a sudden… LANA SHOWS UP AND SCREWS THE WHOLE THING UP! Clark and Lois don’t kiss, and Clark gets that all too familiar look in his eyes that make us all want to throw a shoe through our tv screens.

Oliver’s scene with Lois was another favorite for me. The awkwardness of two former lovers talking about new ones and Oliver’s choice of words that helped Lois move on and be able to open up to him… It was all written so well. I loved this scene. Especially when Oliver drops the bomb that he knows she’s talking about Clark. Then comes the really awkward scene.

Lana and Clark get to catching up. They mention “The Red & Blue Blur” and talk about why she left and why she’s back. Kristen Kruek’s return is actually a welcomed one. Its only temporary and while she’s here, she’s playing the character as more mature and more sure of herself than ever. She knows what she’s got to do, and she’s out to do it. Plus, we finally get the line that closes the book on Clark and Lana for good.

“Maybe Clark Kent and Lana Lang just weren’t meant to end up together.”

If this is the only thing that results from Lana’s return, I’d still be happy. But I’m sure there’s more big things to come.

Speaking of big things… HERE COMES DOOMSDAY!

He crashes through the ceiling and emerges from the rubble. We go back and forth from normal view to the hand-held “CLOVERFIELD-Camera” with Doomsday tearing through the party and everyone running for their lives. The money shot is when Clark steps up to Doomsday, looks him up and down with a look as if to say “Alright… this looks bad… here goes nothing…” and throws his first punch. Not only is the punch blocked, but Clark is then tossed across the barn like an tennis ball, and sure enough, that meteor rock we saw earlier falls right next to him. Clark; a word of advice… DITCH THE METEOR ROCK! YOU DON’T NEED IT IN YOUR HOUSE!

Jimmy gets the blood smacked out of him and Chloe gets scooped up and carried away. By the time Lana gets to put the rock away, its too late for Clark to do anything.

Its only fitting that Lana ends up in the hospital after just a few hours of being back in Smallville. She practically had her own wing in the hospital when she was a regular on the show. Lois is frazzled and is sticking with Jimmy until Chloe is rescued. Clark is starting to see in Lois the pain and suffering he saw in Lana not so long ago. Being a part of Clark’s life is like painting a bulls-eye on your chest for all super-powered crazies to aim at.

And the episode closes out with an amazing scene at the new Black fortress, where Doomsday delivers Chloe. This has all been part of Brainiac’s plan and when Chloe’s eyes open and that creepy smile comes on her face, its clear what’s going to happen next. As if that wasn’t enough, we then get a shot of Lex, from behind his bald head, watching the wedding video on a screen. He’s hooked up to all kinds of weird wires and tubes and he’s creepy as heck. I can’t wait to see how they incorporate him into the rest of the season without Rossenbaum.

That’s the episode in a huge nut-shell. A great way to end the first half of the season. I’m incredibly excited about the Legion showing up this Thursday to help Clark with his “little” problem. I’m curious to see how Geoff Johns writes Smallville. His run on Action Comics has been mind-blowing. Lets bring the Legion out in a big way.

Come back next week for my review of Legion and as for BRIDE…

The A-Train’s rating for “BRIDE”: 5 out of 5 Bony Knuckles!